risapandaba's Xanga

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Sun, 15 Apr 2007 04:12:57 GMT

I would like to describe the simplest emotion
joy or sadness
but not as others do
reaching for shafts of rain or sun

I would like to describe a light
which is being born in me
but I know it does not resemble
any star
for it is not so bright
not so pure
and is uncertain

I would like to describe courage
without dragging behind me a dusty lion
and also anxiety
without shaking a glass full of water

to put it another way
I would give all metaphors
in return for one word
drawn out of my breast like a rib
for one word
contained within the boundaries
of my skin

but apparently this is not possible

and just to say - I love
I run around like mad
picking up handfuls of birds
and my tenderness
which after all is not made of water
asks the water for a face
and anger
different from fire
borrows from it
a loquacious tongue

so is blurred
so is blurred
in me
what white-haired gentlemen
separated once and for all
and said 
this is the subject
and this is the object

we fall asleep
with once hand under our head
and with the other in a mound of planets

our feet abandon us
and taste the earth
with their tiny roots
which next morning
we tear out painfully

- Zbigniew Herbert

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 02:21:47 GMT

Short legs linked to diabetes!

TV watching triggers autism!

Remote control pigeons!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 23:31:51 GMT

So I was planning on having vacation pictures up but my sister hasn't uploaded them anywhere where I can see them. Anyways, I'm sure everybody knows that the Japanese are super smart when it comes to conveniences for the home. Anyways, here is my newest toy and no, it's not the lamp.

I got a bunch of Ipod stuff for Christmas so I figured I might as well get an Ipod. Other than that, I have been trying to stay reasonably low-tech lately. This means that I simply forgetting things entirely instead of forgetting to check my PDA. I also preordered the last Harry Potter book :(. I know I am just going to stay up all night to read it, but seeing as it's the last, maybe I can manage to read it very slowly. I doubt it though. July seems so far away.

I think it's a little sad that Anna Nicole Smith has been the biggest headline these past few days. I think this is much more interesting: Deodorant sets off smoke alarm

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 05:17:02 GMT

[00:57] ***: are you still at tech?
[01:06] RisaPandaba: yes
[01:06] RisaPandaba: i took a nap though
[01:06] ***: did you crawl under your desk? : )
[01:06] ***: did you eat!?
[01:07] ***: you can't possibly be functioning optimally.
[01:09] RisaPandaba: my 70% could very well be someone else 100%.....
[01:09] RisaPandaba: *else's
[01:09] RisaPandaba: hrm, clearly not true
[01:10] ***: : )
[01:10] RisaPandaba: or, clearly a need to learn to use the coffeemaker
[01:10] ***: the coffee goes somewhere...
[01:10] ***: and you press a button
[01:11] RisaPandaba: i'm an engineer, i'm sure i can handle it...
[01:11] ***: but first, and perhaps most important, you must put you mug under the spout
[01:11] ***: before pressing button
[01:11] RisaPandaba: and this button you speak of, is it the only button?
[01:11] ***: but not necessarily before insertion of coffee packet
[01:11] ***: no, there are 4 buttons
[01:12] ***: but they correspond to options on the LCD menu
[01:12] ***: i think the most difficult step is the insertion of the coffee device
[01:12] ***: and perhaps putting of mug under spout
[01:13] ***: or you could come here and have coffee
[01:15] RisaPandaba: so i must either face the conditional probability of pushing the correct button after determining the optimal location of the mug after choosing the most effective beverage based on my taste preference, attractiveness of packaging, level of caffeination, and degree of motivation...or the 100% guarantee that i will not spend all night at tech

................................
[01:37] RisaPandaba: i only write it in if i'm extremely pleased with myself about something or really hyper
[01:38] ***: so you are currently... the latter?
[01:40] RisaPandaba: yes
[01:40] RisaPandaba: i'm not at all pleased with myself
[01:41] ***: aww
[01:41] ***: you know what you need?
[01:41] ***: a squeeze bottle of optimism
[01:42] RisaPandaba: exactly
[01:42] RisaPandaba: that tastes like honey

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 02:46:09 GMT

Would a Roomba be the next best thing to having a real pet? I am pathetic.

Doogie Howser, M.D. is also gay. Finding out whether a person is gay is a lot like smoking out a skunk. You let loose a fog of innuendo interspersed with questioning glances and they just spill all the beans. Well, one bean. But it's a pretty big bean.

Correction made 11/09/06: The actor who played Doogie Howser is gay. Big difference.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 02:31:03 GMT

Honey is absolutely delicious. I've got honey in a squeezable jar, raw spreadable honey that has all the crap that bees put into it not filtered out, and honey with the honeycomb still in it. Everybody needs to go out right now and get some honey and put it on something. Or just eat it. If you are under 1 year of age, do not eat honey.

In other news, I am getting really close to a crisis point:
1) research proposal due
2) paper critique due
3) giant neuro exam
4) another research proposal due
5) actual research to do
6) the next 2 years to plan out

Monday, October 23, 2006

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 17:47:11 GMT

I think that body lotion containing cocoa butter is great. Except for the fact that it makes me smell like actual butter. Which, in the short term, makes me feel hungry and in the long term, makes me feel sick.

There are more people online right now in the middle of the day when they probably should be doing some working than at night (when they should be watching excellent shows like House, Grey's Anatomy, and Boston Legal.)

I recently took a psych test that says that of Aristotle, Socrates, Pythagoras, and Plato, I am most like Pythagoras and least like Plato. Which is interesting, b/c I'm not particuarly fond of math but apparently if you enjoy math, you actually do worse in it. In addition, if someone tells me that my genes make me bad at math, I will fail miserably. Certainly, I don't live in moderation, doubt that I'm considered a great conversationalist, and try not to be a political philosopher. It would be great if I became a major figure in history without writing a damn thing and inspired a society whose members are not allowed to eat beans. Since of course, beans are...beans.

I suspect that I'm a lover of wisdom, honor, and gain.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 00:09:18 GMT

So I finally made it home before 2am two nights in a row. I feel like that should not be unusual but oh well. First thing I did when I got home was clean so evidently, the OCD has gone too far.

It stinks that O'Malley on Grey's Anatomy is gay in real life. Sometimes I have a hard time separating an actor's character from their real life b/c let's face it, there aren't that many great actors out there.

USB 2.0 is so much faster than 1.0, it tickles my brain and that's about the most exciting thing I've learned this week.

I also feel like I have read too many things in the news lately about people running other people over with their cars. I can see why that would be satisfying in some cases though.

Something strange has happened to my right foot arch and it hurts like hell. It did something where it basically felt like my arch superstretched itself and collapsed, but it sprang back into place. If only duct tape could fix the human body. Then again, it means that maybe I shouldn't go running.

I should have taken an engineering class this fall because in the spring I will be so out of shape. I can't do math anymore.

Stephen Hawking is getting a divorce from his second wife. If you could be supersmart and all that like Hawking would you take the tradeoff of having Lou Gehrig's? I wouldn't. But he seems to have done ok.

My life has degenerated into heavily abbreviated lists, b/c I can't remember anything right now that requires putting too many thoughts together, unless it is a somatosensory pathway through the nervous system. I really wish I didn't care about grades. I care more now than I ever have in my entire academic history even though it will soon matter the least.

I got an email today that says I'm supposed to spend half of my winter vacation working. The way that works out I'm pretty much supposed to go home Christmas Eve and come back New Year's Day. Too bad. If they want to pay for my flight back from Japan, then maybe we can negotiate.

Other than all that, I'm having an awesome time not sleeping and giving Chick-Fil-A all my money. Good thing the Kroger 3 minutes away sells alcohol. While I'm under the influence, I don't suppose there's anything entertaining I can put into my program for solving linear systems of ODEs in matrix form. Unfortunately, he gave us a damn extension so now I feel obligated to figure it out.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 09:55:51 GMT

Dynamic Creator

This one was hard because a lot of the questions had a continuous spectrum and I went through it really fast. I'm not sure yet if I think this is a good description.

I been up all night, so I'm off to look for a place that serves french toast.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 00:36:06 GMT

All my cells are dead. :( The project for which my cells had one brief moment of glory culminates on Wednesday. It is a little sad b/c I probably won't ever get a chance to see what could have been. When I realized they died, a little lump rose in my throat, honest. I felt a bond with them, but I suppose that when a person spends 7 hours lovingly cultivating a little 1cm circle of cells, it's really more like a personal insult when they just give up. Maybe the lump in my throat was really a lump of rage. On the other hand, one dish could have committed suicide by excitotoxicity. I should learn from its death and go home now before I fall over from exhaustion.

In other news, the next 4 weekends are packed with people coming to visit me and Sadiya and me off traveling! The prospect of visitors is really exciting because now we have places for people to sit and silverware for them to eat with! There are two of us and I have probably 25 pairs of chopsticks. There is no actual food in the place, more like ingredients. I did cook today though. Browned four chicken thighs and finished in the oven and it made a nice little gravy with bits of onion. Unfortunately one chicken thigh was significantly bigger than the others and I had to put it back in the oven. Nonetheless, cooking, eating and clean-up in under an hour! Now I have to master the timing of meat with veggie-tables. I still have not made anything out of the awesome cookbook I got for my birthday though after reading through it, I definitely fancy myself an accomplished chef.